Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
