i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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