when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
