This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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