I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
