U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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