giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize