i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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