Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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