shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
