The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sext me about skeletons
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
