you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
