Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This is my gift to your gina
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
