What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
