i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
