Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
