I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
