maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
