Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
