I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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