You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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