i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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