some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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