I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
