We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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