did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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