apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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