Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
