I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Randomize
