Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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