Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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