its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
