have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I donβt know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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