Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
