The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
