what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Green mimosas i think yes
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
