And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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