so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
