just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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