literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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