I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.