Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
