my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
