lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this just has baby written all over it
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner