It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
