She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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