Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
