guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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