It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
