All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
