ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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