do herpes really smell.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
