You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You can't motorboat a personality
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
