Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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