My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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