the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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