So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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