Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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