Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
