Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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