Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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