I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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