i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
