the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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